That's Corporate

Chicago man wears Packers tie to work, is promptly fired

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 12:12:07 -0500

Chicago man wears Packers tie to work, is promptly fired:

Clearly violating dress code. Good riddance!

"Due to budget cuts, I work at a library branch that hardly has any books and mostly serves as an..."

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 10:36:07 -0500

“Due to budget cuts, I work at a library branch that hardly has any books and mostly serves as an internet kiosk for kids cutting school to play computer games and watch hulu. I could tell them to leave, but then the library would be empty and I would get lonely.”

- The Farsided Librarian

Headlines: "Swiss Miss"

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 15:24:06 -0500

Headlines: "Swiss Miss" :

Swiss bank’s 44-page etiquette guide tells employees what color underwear to wear, never to eat garlic and regulates proper toenail length.

"I work for Comcast."

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 12:12:07 -0500

“I work for Comcast.”

- That Repair Guy You Always Yell At

"The CEO of our company is one of those trailblazing outdoorsy millionaires who climbs mountains..."

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 10:36:07 -0500

“The CEO of our company is one of those trailblazing outdoorsy millionaires who climbs mountains types that you read about, but wonder if they actually exist. In an effort to encourage active lifestyles, he had sick days, vacation days and personal days all renamed “adventure days.” So, instead of saying, I took a personal day, you say, I took an adventure day. My last adventure day? A five hour visit to the doctor’s office.”

- Pat, Philly

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Fri, 28 Jan 2011 22:01:48 -0500

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"I work at a grocery store. My department manager regularly uses the phrase “gang bang”..."

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 16:51:19 -0500

“I work at a grocery store. My department manager regularly uses the phrase “gang bang” to refer to two or more people working on the same project, i.e. “You two go gang bang aisle four before you take your lunches.” No one has ever corrected him.”

- John

"I work at a record shop that forbids music from being played in the store."

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 13:48:48 -0500

“I work at a record shop that forbids music from being played in the store.”

- suprahodge

"My boss does stand up comedy at open mic nights on the weekends. He’s terrible, but doesn’t seem to..."

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 12:34:07 -0500

“My boss does stand up comedy at open mic nights on the weekends. He’s terrible, but doesn’t seem to know this. Most of his jokes are dumb, offensive and painfully unfunny. He has a website for his stand up “career” and always posts youtube videos of his performances. At the end of every week, he quizzes me on which jokes I thought were the best/funniest, so I have to keep up with his performances, even though I’d rather read Twilight while having sandpaper raked over my eyes. After I finish that week’s train wreck, I always spend the rest of the afternoon checking the unemployment benefits website and figuring out if I could pay bills with what I’d get.”

- Positive Nancy

"At my company we have a swear jar, but instead of an actual jar, they just deduct money from our..."

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 11:40:07 -0500

“At my company we have a swear jar, but instead of an actual jar, they just deduct money from our checks without telling us. I lost $50 off my last check for singing along to a Jay Z song under my breath while I listened to it on headphones. My cubicle mate of five years turned me in.”

- Diesel In Park

"I am one of the few women in my workplace. After a number of sexual harassment suits (I didn’t file..."

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 10:47:06 -0500

“I am one of the few women in my workplace. After a number of sexual harassment suits (I didn’t file any of them luckily), the company has changed it’s tune, but maybe a little bit too much. Since that flurry of lawsuits, I get picked first for everything beneficial, I mysteriously win a lot of company raffles and my workload has greatly decreased. In a way it’s nice, but I can’t remove the somewhat insulting underlying tones behind it. I don’t need to be handled with gloves because I’m a woman, just start with not whistling at me when I’m wearing a skirt and we’ll go from there.”

- June

"On my first day at my new job, the company that hired me spelled my name wrong. I’ve asked them to..."

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 09:54:07 -0500

“On my first day at my new job, the company that hired me spelled my name wrong. I’ve asked them to change it, but they told me it takes awhile to change things in the system. As a result, my direct deposits don’t always go through to my bank and my W-2 will probably get me audited. My name is Chris. But on paper, I am Christ. WTF.”

- Local C.

"I had a loose exit sign fall off a doorway and hit me in the head at work. I was fine and didn’t ask..."

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 04:53:03 -0500

“I had a loose exit sign fall off a doorway and hit me in the head at work. I was fine and didn’t ask for any sort of workers’ comp or anything. Still, they insisted on showing me a safety video all while subtly suggesting that I should have been wearing proper protective gear. I work at a grocery store. I have never seen anyone wear a helmet in a grocery store.”

- ttvv9

"I was once forced to use vacation days before the end of the year because I had too many days saved..."

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 16:08:07 -0500

“I was once forced to use vacation days before the end of the year because I had too many days saved up. As it turns out that forced me to miss a mandatory safety training workshop, which ended up getting me fired because it was required to do the job at the beginning of the year. When I complained, they fired someone else and gave me their training slot.”

- Anonymous

"We have one locker room at work and needless to say it’s co-ed. This also happens to be the only..."

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 15:14:06 -0500

“We have one locker room at work and needless to say it’s co-ed. This also happens to be the only place that we can really change conveniently. It sucks that if I took off my pants to change in the locker room, it could classify as sexual harassment.”

- Anonymous

"I work at a large electronics store. Every night after I close, security has to pat me down, search..."

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 14:36:57 -0500

“I work at a large electronics store. Every night after I close, security has to pat me down, search my bag and then walk me to my car to check the trunk of my Sienna. I have worked here for ten years and haven’t missed a day of work, giving up holidays, birthdays and sick days for this company. They still don’t trust me.”

- Tears For Fears

"I’m so sick of the term “deep-dive”. If I were deep diving it wouldn’t be..."

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 14:20:06 -0500

“I’m so sick of the term “deep-dive”. If I were deep diving it wouldn’t be in some dreary corporate prison, but off the coast of cozumel …. don’t let the corporate speakers co-opt this term!!”

- sibolek

"I used to hawk balls on a driving range at a country club. The cart I drove looked like it had been..."

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 13:27:06 -0500

“I used to hawk balls on a driving range at a country club. The cart I drove looked like it had been a minesweeper in World War II. The cage protecting me was slightly bent inward, letting some of the balls people were hitting get inside. I know, it’s one of those dangerous and slightly illegal work condition things we don’t speak up about, because the club was a real bro-fest environment. Anyways, I would always drive fast as hell when I picked up the range balls, so I could avoid all these assholes pelting the cage, trying to hit me. A month into my range duties, management told me I had to slow down cause I was missing a lot of the balls. I wanted to keep the job, so I did what they asked. Later, I found out the real reason they told me to slow down was because some of the older patrons were complaining that I was going too fast for them to aim at me. I was lectured because I am ineffective target practice.”

- Jordan

"I work at a call center, which is every bit impersonal as it sounds. Whenever we want to ask to go..."

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 12:35:07 -0500

“I work at a call center, which is every bit impersonal as it sounds. Whenever we want to ask to go home early, we have to submit a request on a company computer. There’s a moderator on the other end, but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel like I’m asking a computer if I can go home early when I’m sick. I got food poisoning at work one day and between frequent trips to the bathroom, I managed to type out my request to go home due to a bad case of projectile vomiting. When I finally got an answer 20 minutes later, the computer informed me that my request had been rejected. I thought about throwing up on the computer, but it doesn’t quite have the same effect as throwing up on your boss’ shoes to make a point.”

- Two Weeks Notice

"In our morning meeting, we go around the table and greet everyone by name. It’s a dumb exercise of..."

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 11:40:06 -0500

“In our morning meeting, we go around the table and greet everyone by name. It’s a dumb exercise of empowerment thought up by the bosses. The VP is very old now and often forgets names. He always calls me Sara. My name is Kat. There is a rumor going around that Sara was the name of one of his old mistresses. Because everyone is afraid to correct him, they all call me Sara at the morning meeting, even though they know my name. So, I start off the day being greeted as an eighty-year-old man’s mistress. I feel like a secretary on Mad Men.”

- Kat